soul-motion

it's not OK to be, accept and commonly live in a "rape culture" and to let abuse spend over the globe

- now is the time to grow up, especially for men who cannot stand change and fight against women;

it's not OK killing others in the name of ANY god

- now is the time for the killers to acknowledge the purity and sacredness of all life; 

it's not OK not to allow our governments to fill the head of our children with bullshit as they don't want them to think and grow up to thinking adults

- now is the time for all parents to teach the kids what is love, what is compassion, what is peace, creativity... 

My heart is filled with compassion and grief for those in pain and in blindness. I was given millions of blessings and gifts to grow up to who I become, saved so many times from danger! 

I cannot be grateful enough for what I have. 

I wish we all find our roots and blessings. Wherever and whoever you are, please say a prayer on your own the way you talk to your god, for this world. 

And for all souls living in it: to live together in peace. To connect within peace. We are One.

The Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life

baby steps of change

Someone or something is always there to inspire. If the little door is opened within. And then the connection is made with a gold string: the to-be-inspired entity is lit, and little sparks still fly around tickling the soul.
Shall it be a movie, a sentence, a sound, a dog, a bird, a color, a kiss, a touch, a gaze - someone lets herself to be influenced by another.

Tandem game, as sometimes the inspiring persons become receptive and the previously receptive person becomes the influencing, inspiring body. And soul.
Coexistence. Dreamworld. Such a deep connection from soul to soul... the newest inquiries in neurosciences are about to prove this connection.

I am the one to be inspired. I am the one to inspire.
I was afraid for such a long time to influence. To make myself known, as the dancer dances out her heart in a fluid, feet and bone trusted ecstasy. Dancers who dance for the sake of the beauty of the dance and movement and sweat.
Now I am inspired down to the deepest cells of my bones, injured third time in four months on my feet (a knee and two times the other ankle, ligaments need long rest now). I can't blind myself but have to realize that my feet wish to walk on a different path. They want to take me somewhere else, to impress and be impressed. To give and be given. Fluidity. Heartfullnes. Fragility. Openness. Freedom.

It is never late to chose a different life, to choose myself, to choose my own deep gratitude to express in my whole life. To shake it up, dance it out, to jump, jump and find my wings. But first, I need to know what is my desire. What is it I want? Then the flow will take me there. Hence desires are our compasses as is so perfectly shown in the Never Ending Story by Michael Ende, or in the movie of the Pirates of the Caribbeans - where captain Jack Sparrow has that wonderful black thingy pointing toward not to north but to the horizon where his most desired thing is to be found.
I've just found my compass, and hope to speak its tongue. 

Lent

One of the hardest things of life is to say NO to something you desire. That you long for.
Like for example to say NO to turn stones into bread after 40 days of fast (Temptation I. of Jesus Christ).
I don't want to compare my NO to such NO, but it was one of the hardest thing to say since a looooong time. There is no other choice in case of life danger. Life danger here means something, you desire to do but then it surly would destroy you, your life and the life of those who live around you. Then what? Ain't that easy to say NO, not even in these circumstances. Passion is deathly. It's just not easy at all, believe me. I've done it.

Catholics says, it is during the time of Lent that the biggest temptations are coming and found you. And they also say, that God tires those whom He loves. I could be ironic on this point, but I refuse to do it, as I know that He really loves me. And today I am deeply grateful and I praise the Lord as He let me to do the hardest decision of my life so easily I don't even feel it now. I am sure, tomorrow it will hit me, but I will stick to His will.

Then? How to avoid? Pull yourself out from the situation, turn away. And if you really desire the thing, acknowledge it's existence. Be aware of your longing, and be aware of your commitments. Be aware of the hurt that can come and stay with you till a lifetime, if you give in. Then cry, long, let your heart feel the loss. Say NO to save yourself from even more pain that you experienced during not being able to make your decision. Once the decision is made, it liberates your heart. Even if in first moment it seems to be a decision AGAINST your heart, you'll find, it was FOR your heart. And you will cry again. And again. Or maybe not.

Some people can do some things, some can't. It means, that according to our knowledge of life mysteries, we are allowed to do mistakes. But once we are aware of a certain thing, we better not commit that error, otherwise we'll call such a punishment on our head that we surely will know next time that we better watch our decisions if we want to avoid pain. And I mean here deep pain, that deep that you cannot imagine now. For example, I cannot let myself into any situations of serious lies and "games" that would fold the truth. Even if the temptation is super high, higher than ever imagined before, I have to resist, with all of my blood cells, with all of my heart beats. And it feels like a cut.

It feels bad, but still it feels less painful, than to let it grow and use me for its own shake (the passion itself, I mean). And now I fell my throat. Feels like it will hurt tomorrow, from some cold... I pray for forgiveness and love for the rest of Lent, and that Peace may come in our heart and God may guide us through this world.